You will probably think that I am a bit bonkers, or perhaps it is just proof of a vivid imagination, but indisputably I do have an art monster living within me. It is a difficult thing to describe, an invisible eternal ‘being’ with a thirst for visual stimulation and a hunger to leave a creative legacy – contributing to the creative pool from which it draws strength.
I must have adopted this creature from an early age, as I can’t remember a time without it. I foolishly tried to cleave from it in my early twenties, which just left me feeling lost and miserable – so I am now, very willingly, it’s slave.
My art monster is very selfish, a bit greedy and would happily have me living in pyjamas, chained to my easel, existing on nothing but a diet of tea and chocolate. It gets frustrated when I have to go to work, it doesn’t care much for housework and it gets particularly annoyed if anyone knocks at the door. It would like nothing better than for me to paint all day so that it can realise it’s vision and potential and it requires my physical skills for its creative ideas to manifest.
When I give it free reign it will happily take over the whole house, every table inside and out are bedecked with creative endeavours. Hence, I always adopt the best room of the house with the best light as my studio – much to the annoyance of my husband. Even before I have finished a painting or in the process of making something it is thinking about the next project and is only happy when work is complete. Sometimes it wakes me up in the middle of the night with amazing ideas and visions.
It is drawn to the beauty of the natural world and loves it when I go walking in the mountains or in the woods with the dog, as it feels recharged - finding inspiration and reconnecting with the universe. Sundays are our sacred day for painting – art has become my religion, which hopefully other artists will understand. I am often left with the feeling that I don’t spend enough time painting and don’t do it justice. When I’m not painting, he gnaws away at me from the inside. It’s big teeth and sharp claws are particularly effective.
It has big ambitions and ideas, and wants me to realise it’s potential – this is a lifetime obligation, to find the balance of head, heart, monster and soul. I hope that, in the end, it will be proud of me and together we will have left a beautiful legacy that will inspire future artists.